As a father of 3 boys, I can’t imagine what her poor parents are going through.
Did they know she was being bullied at school?
The answer is yes, but not to the full extent.
Apparently, they had been repeatedly assured that the teachers and administrators at the school were “handling” the problem.
To make matters worse, someone at her school posted a picture of someone’s private parts and labeled them as belonging to this young girl. A fight broke out during one of the confrontations and this girl was arrested for assault.
To a young teen being badly bullied, getting arrested is like pouring gasoline on a fire. She committed suicide just before she was to begin behavioral therapy that was forced on her due to her fighting.
What a horrible story and sadly, it’s just one of many every week in our country.
Schools Mean Well
The truth is every school system sincerely wants our children to feel safe, but in my opinion, I don’t believe the schools really have the tools to help protect those students that are being relentlessly bullied.
There are too many kids and not enough teachers and administrators to adequately monitor every student in every place in the school.
And, unfortunately, I have painfully discovered that most parents don’t know how to help their child. Sometimes they even make the situation worse.
Many parents think that telling their child to fight back will solve the problem. In very few cases, does that ever successfully work.
Because, fighting at school is not tolerated and often times both the bully and the victim get suspended.
In the example listed above, the girl was required to attend behavioral therapy. She was penalized twice, ultimately leading her to take her own life.
She was humiliated and despite her parents and the school, she didn’t feel anyone could help her.
How To Defeat The Bully
At SKS, we include anti-bullying strategies as part of our character and life skills development program. We emphasize the need to avoid confrontation, to ignore taunts and unkind remarks and what to do if physically assaulted.
We teach our students the difference between fighting and protecting themselves from harm.
We focus on growing their confidence and self esteem, the ultimate tools to defeating the bully.
When students have trained long enough, they know how to protect themselves in most situations at school.
We work on projecting our voice and demonstrating to others we are serious in our intentions – to stop the bully in their tracks.
We introduce kindness as a weapon – backed up with martial arts skills when necessary to protect yourself.
The martial arts is NOT just a sport! Our training program develops strong character skills and over time, we teach children how to protect themselves in most situations. More importantly, we teach our students how important it is to walk away safely.
Martial arts isn’t the only answer to defeat the bully, but I can tell you after working with hundreds of kids, it’s a powerful tool that parents should take advantage of.
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Sensei Chris Feldt is the owner and chief instructor of Samurai Karate Studio, a leadership academy located in Northeast Columbia, South Carolina. His school teaches karate to children and adults ages 4 and up. SKS specializes in self-defense, anti-bullying, stranger danger and character and leadership development.
Mr. Feldt was an adjunct professor at the University of South Carolina for college credit in karate and self-defense. Samurai Karate Studio has been recognized as a leader in martial arts instruction by being honored with the Best of Columbia Award for 5 consecutive years in a row.
Sensei Feldt is a certified instructor for C.O.B.R.A., a worldwide self-defense, and personal protection program. SKS offers Active Shooter Training, Real Estate Safety, 10 Week Self Defense Academies, Bully Workshops, and Child Safety Camps.
Sensei Feldt has been a guest speaker in the Richland 2 School District covering school talks on stranger danger, anti-bullying strategies, kindness, and making good choices. He is available for both private and corporate self-defense seminars
Samurai Karate Studio is also a proud member of MAAB, Martial Artists Against Bullying, a nationwide program made up of martial arts schools throughout the country that are committed to helping children who are victims of bullying. If you or someone you know is being bullied, we are here to help. But, you have to take the first step and either call us at 803-462-9425 or email us at: [email protected]
Bullying is one of the most serious issues we face today and with the right coaching, students can learn how to defeat the bully using non-violent strategies.